Eliminate Cling-ons (Disqualifiers)
Whanau Marama’s Facebook Campaign
Eunmi from Whanau Marama writes, “I was pretty bad at saying cling-on’s to others including my child. When my child showed me her drawing or homework or writing, I used to say “Well done or good, but it doesn’t look like your best.” Or “I can see you have tried hard, but I don’t think it is very good.” Some times I’ve even added “I think you should find something you are better at.”
I did not realize what I said was hurting my child’s feelings. She was only trying to show me what she had done. How I responded prevented my child from connecting with me. I thought I was giving her good advice. I just wanted her to do better. I was wrong. It had the effect on my child that she did not want to show me what she had done any more.
Sometimes we inadvertently punish good behaviour like I did. This can lead to our child feeling discounted and often quite angry. In our parenting course, we call this a “cling-on”. So let’s eliminate cling-ons out of our vocabulary. Let us become more aware of the times we are saying cling-on’s and then try not to say them again. We can make our children smile. We can make a positive change in our family.”
Please share the group with your friends on Facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/351148201563452/
